Friday, June 29, 2007

The Crane Sisters

This is one of the best conversations i've ever had. Its with J and it happened after we chatted about something that was on her mind.

J: Every time I have some trouble and I talk to you, I feel a weight has been lifted off me

Me: :) Which means I am your crane!! I will always be your crane and will lift the weight :)

Just so you know, its taken me many years to become this for you, where we are more equal as friends and it does not always matter who the elder one is. But you, you’ve always been my crane :)

J: That is not true , you have always been my crane too. Its just that being younger you never realized that. You have always inspired me to be a better person and you have supported me in no matter what I did. You are my crane!

Me: :) :) That makes me very happy! We are the crane sisters!! :D

J: how cool, the crane sisters!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Wisdom or Youth?

This poem is one of my all time favourites, I share this with you guys alongwith the questions it always brings for me.


When I have ceased to break my wings
Against the faultiness of things,
And learned that compromises wait
Behind each hardly opened gate,
When I have looked Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange -- my youth.

- Sara Teasdale

What would you want, if you had the choice? and in that is hidden the question, what would you do?

If you knew this profound truth that the wisdom you get is at the cost of your spirit, your youth; what would you do? Would you still wager your lost wars and trudge alone for the endless quests? Which end of the bargain would you go for?

Me?? I think my choices were made for me, I'm wired in a certain way and that takes care of stuff like this. I don't have to wonder too much about them. Its always the heart. The head may know all that's there to know, but its always the heart, the instinct that I go by. Isn't that what the question is?

Give me the wings, and I will not hesitate to break them against every possible faultiness. No doubt life may be easier , for now, if I could digest the compromises. But, Youth I must have, as its the flow of life itself! (And I do hope you don't confuse youth with age here.)

Wisdom ... I don't worry about much, they say I was born with an older soul ;)

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Midnight Munching

It has to be crazy, wanting to know (every five mins.) how many people have visited your blog in the 6 hours and some minutes since it opened its wonder-filled,innocent eyes in this blogosphere and stretched :)
The excuse for starting this post at 12:30 AM is to write about these midnight cravings I've had my entire life. Its like an unwritten law ... if you are awake beyond 12:25 AM, you HAVE TO have a snack. Even if you had dinner at 11:55 PM. But the good part is that I'm not the only one in on this, at least three of my favourite people - J, S and B also have it and i have the fondest memories of yummy snacks of bhujia and pickle, bhujia and curd, bhujia with sauce on a toast being had amongst wonderfully crazy conversation and hysterical laughter. Now since S is the one around me these days and he also (mercifully) has this affliction, we have these nice, fun conversations over much midnight munching.
So if you are not into it, and have wasted beautiful nights of your life with no munching whatsoever, the time has come to rectify things!! Take charge of your life ... er, night and grab that snack! All you need now is few crazy mates, some solumates and a bowl of dates (bhujia doesnt rhyme, you see). And you have a soulful of midnight munchies. Must have, its the law!
I think i forgot to mention two important things here -
1. J, B and me have this ... condition, its this horrible disease which leaves you crazy and hysterical after midnight strikes so that every thing makes you laugh till you are choking and there are tears running down your face. B is the worst case on this.
2. Bhujia here refers to bikaneri bhujia, aka bhujia sev in Maharashtra but that is just dummy stuff; bikaneri bhujiya is the queen of all bhujias. My love for it is legendary, I could make breakfast, lunch, dinner and any other untimely snack enjoyable for myself if only I had some bhujia. When I don't getto meet my mom-dad for some time and mystock runs out, they send me couriers filled with the packets of the delightful thing! I would name a country after it, if i could.

Friday, June 22, 2007

The Forever Nomad

This is not the typical 'first post' stuff but considering that it says so much about me and explains why I call myself 'the nomad'; it'll have to do! Works fine for me.
Here goes ...
This world has changed so much, hasn’t it? When I was a child people did not move about so much, they looked for stability, settling down. Now a days everyone is looking for a change, people look out for experiences, better jobs, more money or just … experiences. Its just ok to take a decision to pick up your life and go to another city, country and start afresh.

Which is why I got thinking and was a little surprised when this person asked this friend who was leaving for another country for work … do you have family there, do you know people, why did you want to move out?! Some people still live with that need for stability, the questions innocently implied that why would you want to uproot unless it’s a matter of life and death. And I thought, how can you not move? And it suddenly put me on the opposite end of the spectrum.
By some cosmic design and sometimes by choice I grew up and stayed in many places, enjoyed each one and has such fond memories of each one. Broke my heart each time we moved to leave friends, places behind but I think you learn much more easily when you are young. I learnt it early enough. And I also learnt that the ache in the heart is replaced quickly with the excitement of the new. You do not forget things you leave behind or don’t stop missing them but each place has a different life of its own and without knowing that you are giving in – you give in to that and become a part of its colossal rhythm. Explore new, meet new people, enjoy it, get scared, get lost, start finding your comfort corners (and fav eateries!) … find your bearings, give it some time and lo! You have a new life in a new place.

I never realized how much it became a part of me until I called myself a nomad in a job interview, I remember a few snippets from what I said … I grew up in so many places that I adapt easily. I have seen different kinds of lives and have taken each one of them inside me. I have come to know that surprises are the norm. I have life experiences. I am at ease in sleepy small town, a campus away from civilization, the fast growing cities, the metropolitan cities … I am a citizen of them all! And it’s a nice feeling … suddenly I realized that the world belonged to me because I belonged to it! I would never be an outsider or a stranger in any place!
(I must have been convincing because I got the job, and even with my nomadic schemas I’m still with the place after almost 4 years.)

When I talk about it some people look at me with dismay and even pity … to begin with I could never agree with people’s sense of superiority about having lived in a particular city all their lives and not having experienced anything else. I mean, I can understand them feeling attached and at home but feeling good about not knowing anything else? Sorry, something I can never understand. And this phenomenon is not just about places, its about everything … languages, music etc. … "I don’t know anything about Hindi music so I’m cool?" Sorry again. Basic research funda : if you test it in Solus you will know how good it is ON ITS OWN, only a comparative evaluation tells you if its better or worse than the other ones … so people, compare ONLY if you have experienced anything else. I digressed like I mostly do, uninformed, opinionated people are a touchy topic with me.

Picking up the thread … pity would be required if you lost everything you gained when you left a place, and I believe it is in one’s control to choose that. In any place, people are the one thing that make it what it is, and if you can take them with you … keep in touch and keep them in your life, it can be worthwhile. This has worked fine for me with all places except Delhi - but that is another post.

I think its an experience which changes something very basic in you, almost like impacting your DNA. Even when you are settled and comfortable in a place you get these pangs and heartaches when someone else gets the chance to go and live a different, new life. It’s a curse in a way that no place is perfect anymore, you have lived and soaked-in so many things that no one place can sate your desire for more, for all of it. So even if you decide to live and settle in one place the heart remains the forever nomad.

Its glorious and its painful, knowing you are one.